19 Thoughts On Batman vs. Superman: Dawn Of Justice

Let me start by saying how I sick I am of everyone shitting on this flick. It’s a good movie. And if you’re a Batman fan, go see it. Now.

Spoiler alert

  • It’s a good, fun summer movie.
  • It’s fucking Batman.
  • Superman is the reason everyone is hating on it. I think that’s because people have had enough of the unrealistic alien type stuff. Then again, the Avengers works.
  • I think Captain America (the Chris Evans version to be specific) is the main reason why people are over Superman. Comparatively, he just isn’t that tight. Superman has always been a bit boring. Sure, Cap can be a bummer sometimes, but at least he’s hilarious.
  • Ben Affleck is a great Batman. He’s older and wiser, but also more stubborn and his worldview is much darker. Ben’s version of Bruce Wayne is more focused on the job. He’s beyond whatever ventures he had going on in business or in his personal life. He’s Batman through and through.
  • Christian Bale’s Batman had an existential dread about being Batman. He had trouble deciding whether or not he should break laws to win. Affleck’s Dark Knight doesn’t have that problem. He wants to win.
  • Superman is just too contradictory and paradoxical. It doesn’t work. Is he a God or a Meta-Human or an Alien. And what’s the difference?
  • And guys, how the fuck do people not know that Clark Kent is Superman? Is it the glasses? I mean c’mon. They even go to the obligatory, cliche scene at the Daily Planet where Perry (Clark’s boss, played by Laurence Fishburne) is looking for him and goes to the “where does he always disappear to?” card. So bad.
  • Wonder Woman, played by Gal Gadot, is a smoke. That is all.
  • Jesse Eisenberg plays Lex Luthor, a Mark Zuckerberg type tech guy who plots Superman and Batman against each other. Eisenberg also played Zuckerberg in The Social Network. Coincidence? Is Zuck a real-life villain? Maybe. Maybe not. All I’m saying is that the real Dark Knight night want to keep an eye on him.
  • The monster villain at the end of the movie is cheeseball as fuck. Just horrible.
  • The whole nuking Superman in outerspace is also cheese. I don’t think POTUS would go to that, that quickly. Is space even the USA’s jurisdiction? I think not. That said, it wasn’t a horrible plan.
  • Affleck had the best Batcave yet. Best house too. The old, lonely Wayne Manor narrative is dead. Finally. The Bat is a playboy and rightly so.
  • Alfred is great. And fly as hell.
  • The movie was 45 minutes too long. I could have done without all of the Superman scenes. Kidding. In all seriousness though, it was just a little too long.
  • Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman was far superior to Gadot’s Wonder Woman. But Apples and Oranges, I guess.
  • I can’t wait for Suicide Squad, Justice League, and the stand alone Batman that Affleck is in the process of writing.
  • I wouldn’t put it past Affleck to win an Oscar for it (not this one).
  • Affleck’s training montage is everything. Squats, Deads, Prowler pushes and pulls. It’s a gritty and badass scene that makes me want to be the Bat.

4 thoughts on “19 Thoughts On Batman vs. Superman: Dawn Of Justice

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