My Guide To World Domination (And A Preachy, Blatantly Plagiarized Workout Program)

Because I’m between workout programs, and because I had nothing else to do at the time, I thought I’d write out my go-to training program.

I hope you like it. And make sure you take a look at the disclaimer. You know, the one that says I’m totally not qualified to write a workout program.

Feel free to message me if you have any questions.



I am not a doctor. Nor am I a strength coach, certified personal trainer, or health and fitness professional of any kind. A Psychologist, Yogi, and Yoda, are other things I am not. Always consult a doctor before doing any type of physical activity.

For best results, train while wearing a shirt that’s at least one size too small.

This program is comprised of my favorite methodologies and philosophies that I have picked up throughout my journey in strength training and in the physical culture.

Also, please note that you will not morph into The Rock, Wolverine, or the Heir of Slytherin just because you follow this program. Or any program, for that matter. You can only strive to be the best you possible.

And fuck, if we’re being honest, none of this shit even matters. Just live life. Have fun and make memories. Create things that make you and the people around you happy. Love, laugh, and when you leave this world, do your best to ensure that it’s in a better state than when you came into it.

As I was writing this gibberish, my wife grabbed my hand and put it on her pregnant belly. “This baby is active today,” she said. “Here.”

We’ve gone through this drill at least twenty times in the last week and but I haven’t been able to feel anything. It’s tough to decifer baby movements from my wife’s pulse. So first I found the pulse; it was by my palm. So anything else should have been a kick. I literally felt my first kick about 30 seconds later. Freaking amazing! There’s a little person in there.

It makes all of this not seem so important. The thing is though, in order to be the best husband and dad that I can possibly be, I first need to be the best me that I can possibly be.

Now drink some black coffee and get the fuck after it.


“Stay hungry, stay healthy, be a gentleman, believe strongly in yourself and go beyond limitations.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” – Marcus Aurelius

“Youth can not know how age thinks and feels, but old men are guilty if they forget what it is to be young.” – Albus Dumbledore


Mobility/Prehab (daily)
Deep Squat Hold (feet flat) – 30 seconds
Glute Contraction/Activation (squeeze fists) – 30 seconds
Hamstring Stretch (any) – 30 seconds per leg                                                                      Hip Flexor Stretch – 30 seconds per leg Band Pull Aparts/No Moneys/Crucifix Stretch – 50 to 100 total reps


Get Yo Mind Right (daily)
Meditation and/or deep breathing practice for a minimum of two minutes (I do Shamatha).
Yoga practice, whenever possible. Once per week is a start.
And go for a walk outside.


Warm up (training days):
DeFranco Agile 8
Trunk rotation
Jumping Jacks – 100
SEAL Jacks – 20
Leg Swings
Arm Circles


Day 1 – Lower Body (Quad/Squat):
A) Glute Ham Raise or Hamstring Curl
B) Squat variation
C) Leg Press, Bulgarian Split Squat, or Reverse Lunge
D1) Romanian Deadlift or Good Morning
D2) Calf Raise variation
E) Turned off Treadmill Walk, Hill Sprints, or Prowler (conditioning)

Day 2 – Upper Body (Power):
A) Bench/Press variation for power
B) One Arm Row
C1) Press variation
C2) Inverted Row or Row variation
D1) Floor Press or Dips
D2) Hammer Curl variation
E) Heavy Carries (conditioning)

Day 3 – Lower Body (Ham/Deadlift, Glutes, Hinge):
A) Glute Ham Raise or Hamstring Curl
B) Deadlift variation
C) Glute Bridge
D1) Lower Back variation
D2) Calf Raise variation
E) Walking Lunges (conditioning)

Day 4 – Upper Body (Pump):
A) Dumbell Bench
B) Pull-up variation
C1) Lat Raise
C2) Face Pull or Snatch Grip High Pull
D1) Rope Pushdown or Diamond Pushup
D2) Curl variation
E) One Arm Dumbbell Snatches (conditioning)


Cool Down (training days):
Do what your body needs. Aim for 15-30 seconds in each stretch/posture. Hit the Hammies, Hip-Flexors, Quads, Glutes, Low-Back, and Lats.


Additional Notes
The goal here is to train 3 or 4 times per week. Don’t stress about the days, just do the work. Conditioning should be done as needed and based on the goal of the athlete.

A full Yoga practice counts as a training day. Cardio does not but is obviously encouraged.

Programming for the Squat, Bench, Press, and Deadlift, is as follows. Aim for a 4-6 rep, top-end set. Then back-off at 90% and the same amount of reps as the top-end set. Perform additional back-off sets, as needed, to reach about 25 total reps.

Accessory work is to be done in the 8-15 rep range. Get 30-40 total reps. At least one set should be to technical failure (stop when you can no longer maintain a safe form). This is a long-term lifestyle; there are no quick fixes. Don’t get hurt.

Movements A, B, and C should be considered required. The rest is based on feel. In fact, this is all based on feel. Conditioning is movement E and is optional but strongly encouraged.

Arm and cable work is not programmed. Get 50-100 reps. The goal here is to get a pump. Push your sleeves up (lose ’em if possible), flex, and have fun with it.

I have a confession: I don’t train Abs directly, ever. In fact, I hate it. Plus, I’m confident that my midsection gets enough indirect work from Yoga and from movements like Front Squats, deadlifts, heavy carries, etc. That said, when I do Ab work, I prefer the Ab Wheel and Pallof Press. But my go-to would be various isometric holds and gymnastics moves like L-sit and Planche variations.


Credits and Inspiration (people I’ve stolen from)
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jim Wendler, Jason Ferruggia, Sean Hyson, John Romaniello, Neghar Fonooni, Adam Bornstein, Bret Contreras, Cory Gregory, Joe DeFranco, and T-Nation.

To the aforementioned beasts: thank you for showing me the way.

A special thank you to Richie Clark, Rob Shimits, Christian Artl, and my marvelous wife, Kelly, for keeping me honest and in the gym.


2 thoughts on “My Guide To World Domination (And A Preachy, Blatantly Plagiarized Workout Program)

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